5 days to go before to be called Mrs./PUAN

malam ini aku masih ada masa untuk menulis 'bahan kenangan' ini... kawan2 aku yang posting lain tengah sibuk siapkan case write up untuk dihantar esok, syukurlah aku punya case write up hantar dua minggu akan datang (honeymoon dengan case write up la nampaknya..). makanya malam ni aku rasa nak berpoya poya kat blog aku yang mmg takde sape tahu ni.. ada la beberpa yg tau... tp memandangkan aku x aktif so mereka pun x berminat (baguslah hehe)

ini malam terakhir aku di kampus sebelum bertolak balik ke kampung esok malam bersama abang KANDUNGKU (Setiap kali ditanya balik dgn apa/siapa oleh kwn2ku, jawapanku ini mengundang usikan hebat mereka. yela, sbb aku sebut abang kandung tu. aku bukan sengaja nak sebut, dah tu nanti diorang salah faham pula aku balik dengan bakal suami, tak ke naya tu.... adehh.. kan fitnah tu.... hehe) . beg2 dah seminggu dah aku packing, tp nampaknya memang x muat le beg ni. selalu kalo aku balik kampung, bawa laptop je sehelai sepinggang, tp kali ni x muat satu beg la pulak. almaklumlah SEMUA BAJU NAK BAWA BALIK. yela, xleh la lagi nak pakai kain batik dgn baju kurung kat rumah. kena la pakai cantik2 depan suami... kan pahala tu... hehe. tp masalahnya, semua baju aku rasa nak bawa balik.. adehh..

sbg seorang yg single dan belum berkahwin, sememangnya aku org yg simple. aku x minat sangat nak jaga muka, makanya setiap kali ada biji2 tumbuh kat muka ni, mmg tanganku gatal aje main picit2. skrg mmg banyak parut le.. kesian suamiku hehe. nanti lepas ni aku kena jaga muka elok2, takpe parut ni blh hilang ... jangan risau ye.. hehe (pujuk diri sndri)

hmm, rasa nak minum jus.. selalunya aku akan keluar je beli kat kedai runcit depan kampus ni.. tapi sejak nak jd pengantin ni, aku lebih berhati2... aku terbayang kalau aku ditimpa malapetaka. sebab tu akhir2 ni aku kurang keluar... hehehe. takpela, esok jela... insyaALLAH..semoga masih bernafas...

6 days to go before to be called Mrs./PUAN

entah angin apa yg bertiup malam ni. tetiba rasa nak mencoret something sbg bahan kenangan untuk dibaca pada masa akan datang.

hari ni 18 januari 2012, harik rabu, 3 hari sebelum aku berangkat pulang bersama abang kandungku ke kampung halaman. jujurnya hatiku sudah ada di kampung halaman. tkde hati dah nak pergi hospital esok, nak masuk kelas, nak mengadap muka orang2 di sini.

bukanlah sebenarnya perasaan tu TIDAK SABAR UNTUK MENIKAH. kerana menikah itu sebenarnya cukup mendebarkan aku. maklumla, bercinta selepas kawen...
mmg x sama perasaannya menikahi org yg kita dah bercinta dengannya..

walaupun kami x pernah bercinta, cukuplah aku yakin dengan akhlaknya, dan aku mengagumi kepimpinan yang ada pada dirinya, untuk menjadi pembimbingku dan membawa aku ke syurga. alhamdulillah, aku cukup mengagumi syabab yang bakal menikahiku ini...

walaupun setahuku bakal suamiku tidak menyatakan namaku dalam announcement nya, tp tetap datang ucapan tahniah bertalu talu kepadaku.. pada mulanya aku buat2 taktau, buat2 salah orang dan lain2 tp akhirnya terpaksa mengaku kerana mereka terlalu yakin orangnya adalah aku. mungkin bakal suami ku memberitahu namaku secara personal kepada orang yang bertanya.. mungkin.. tidaklah aku tahu cerita sebenarnya..

jujurnya tanggungjwabku sebagai ketua subgroup dalam posting surgery ni membantu aku untuk tdk memikirkan sangat tentang pernikahanku. dan alhamdulillah, secara automatik ia mmg berlaku.. aku x fikir sangat pun. malah x countdown pun (kawan2 yg tolong count it down hehe) kelakar kan kawan2 saya... even saya x sempat pun nak keluar beli dua perkara lg iaitu inai dan tudung.. makanya inai itu saya order je kat kawan di kampung, mtk tlg dia belikan.. tudung pula, nanti la jumaat ni, nanti dah setel semua kelas... (mcm busy sgt le tu..)

MUNGKIN KAH AKHLAK ASAS DALAM KEHIDUPAN INI IALAH SABAR?

Terlalu banyak perkara dalam hidup ini, jika disertakan dengan sabar insyaALLAh akan membawa kejayaan kepada individu tersebut.
Sabar dalam usaha
sabar dalam ibadah
sabar dalam harapan
sabar dalam menghadapi manusia
sabar dalam mendidik diri/tarbyah
sabar dalam ujian ALLAH
sabar dalam pengurusan
sabar sebagai akhlak

mungkin ada sesetengah keadaan, sikap ‘terlalu’ sabar is quite annoying.
for example when in class, the teacher asks the students about the answer, but no one answer it although they think they know it
also when a teacher do mistake on purpose to test the student, the student realize what is happening but kept silent (like what happen today in MR. sood class – portal hypertension). Then the teacher think the students are paying attention.. quite disappointing..
Namun jangan lah sabar itu menghilangkan sifat ‘enthusiasm’ dalam diri..
krn sifat ini juga penting untuk kecemerlangan…

sebelum engkau halal bagiku...

Ya Allah.. Peluklah hati ini di saat ku mulai merasa gelisah,dalam penantian penuh kesabaran ini, terkadang Hatiku merasa rindu pd dia insan yg ku cintai dalam diamku... Ya Rabb,,,Biarlah Ku simpul dalam setiap do'a-doa dalam Istikharahku kepada-MU Rasa ini,,,agar kelak Engkau Satukan hatinya dan hatiku yang kan bertaut dan bersemi indah karna Redha-MU.... Ya Rabb...Tuntunlah Hati hamba agar hanya...... mau menerima CINTA seorang Insan yang benar2 Pilihan-MU bukan Semata-mata Pilihan Nafsuku. Ya Rabb,,,bila dia memang baik untukku,agamaku,masa depan dunia dan akhiratku,bisa membimbing dan membawaku lebih dekat pada-Mu,Maka dekatkanlah diriku dgnnya & satukanlah kami dlm pernikahan yg sakinah,mawaddah,warrahmah..Tapi kalau bukan dia yg terbaik,Maka jgn biarkan kekagumanku menjadi suka apalagi cinta,Jadikanlah kekaguman ku seprti orang lain kagum padanya,,Engkaulah Maha membolak-balikkan hati Maka kutitipkan rasa ini,kuserahkan semuanya pada-Mu,krna semua ini adalah milik-Mu.. Aamiin ya...

dont leave ALLAH, and u will always fell secured..

being a girl.. living far from family... and grew up with books, within fence of boarding school, its not easy to survive in this chaotic world.. full of lies and cheats... its not easy to face everything in the world outside.. sometimes we fall, sometimes people bluff, sometimes being cheated, sometimes being abandoned without a reason, sometimes being frustrated... but all those actually teach us to be a better person..

sometimes its difficult to accept that our smooth life before becoming like this.. but knowing that ALLAH always plan the best for HIS servants is the best remedy we could apply.. to accept the fate that "we plan and HE also planned, and HIS planning is the superior"...

sometimes, we have to learn from our own mistakes.. although it is such a waste but it worth it.. just think that it is a special treat from ALLAH on you that other people doesnt experience it..

we fail becoz we leave ALLAH.. ALLAH promise us that HE will always be on our side wherever we go, but we always leave ALLAH though we know that we need ALLAH in every single thing in our life..

here, today, now.. tell ur self that u will try ur best to not leave ALLAH anymore.. put ALLAH in ur heart n be alert that HE is always with u and u need HIM more than everything else.. ALLAH is just enough for ur whole life... HE promised that

STUDENT---TEACHER

i was having a class with a teacher dat day..

the lesson was about teenagers/adolescent health
we discusses alot
including teenage pregnancy
then tetiba cikgu ni bgtau satu contoh problem ni
bebudak x faham
then cikgu tu bg analogi
"mcm saiful la.."
bebudak masih belum dapat catch up lg siapa saiful
tetiba cikgu tu menyambung
"anwar bapak ikan, saiful anak ikan"
terkejut monkey i.
i xtau la murid lain fikir mcm mn

bukanlah niat i nak kutuk sape2, cuma terfikir, sbg guru, sepatutnya bukan hanya mengajar ilmu dunia, tp mendidik anak bangsa dengan cara pemikiran yg betul
i pun sbnrnya byk lg kena belajar
sekadar mengambil pengajaran drpd kisah ini..

MUST THINK CRITICALLY

sekadar perkongsian untuk kita sama2 jadi manusia yang menggunakan akal untuk berfikir...

td kelas dengan sorang doktor pakar kesihatan keluarga. bincang ttg contraceptive method (cegah hamil).

DR.F : when did the contraceptive method was introduced? which era?
aku pun jawab memcah keheningan yang menyelubungi para student dengan menjawab "the era of prophet muhammad"
dr. F : hmm, ya.. so what kind of method did they use that time?
aku : withdrawal (azal)
dr.F : ok, true, dats the natural method. that include calendar n symptoms method. but actually its started even before that. i mean which century? 20's? 30's?

then there was a pin drop silent indicates that none of the students have any idea about that.

dr.F : it was around 1916 right? what was happen dat time?
one of the student was making a try : world war..hehe
dr. F : (smiling)... was it? world war? ok, so where do u think the contraceptive methods introduced? which country?
student : china..
mr F : hmm, nope..
student : .....
dr. F : it was actually started in europe. u know why? that time, women think that it was unfair for them compared to the men. becoz both of them enjoy the excitement of sex but only women got the consequences (pregnancy). so they started thinking how to overcome the situation. so they introduced contraceptive methods including the condoms, diaphragm n develope scientific research about that.. but we as muslim, do we accept that?
student : its ok in some purpose. for example, the parents want to space the children becoz they want to plan for education for the children.
dr. F : good. . so is there any method that is not allowed in islam?
aku : permanent method like vasectomy and tubectomy.
dr.F : ya.. so is there any evidence that contraceptive method is allowd in islam?
aku : ya, there was a hadith which saying that there was a companion of rasulullah came to him and told him that he practiced azal and rasululullah did not object the method. means he allowed contraception in that kind of way.
dr.F : excellent! actually there were some narrations and differ , but we can take that one. some narrations said it was not allowed.
dr. F : so why do u think the purpose of WHO introduce contraceptive method to all countries?
student : to limit the population.
dr. F : good! so why they want to limit the population? dont u feel angry when they want to limit the poplulation in your country? meanwhile your country is not belongs to them, our country is ours. so why must they limit us? and why must we follow them? i want all of u to think critically..
student : they want to limit the population may be because of economic factor. maybe due to increasing index of poverty in the population.
dr. F : do u think God create this alam with poverty? can u please name what asset do malysia has?
student : paddy field, petroleum, rubber estate..
dr. F : ya! and much more.. so why must people limit the population just becoz they afraid of poverty? God never create us with lacking.. so who do u think actually making the existence of poverty?
student : GOVERNMENT!!
DR. F : (laugh politely). hmm, actually the system right? orang kaya makin kaya, org miskin makin miskin. kekayaan bumi tak diagih dengan seadilnya. dont u think so? ada ke org kaya nak bg duit dia kat org miskin? not likely right?
student : (very2 agree)
dr. F " ok, now i want to ask, which country leads the economy?
student : CHINA!
DR. f : GOOD.. so what do u think make them leads the world economy?
student : (silent... no idea..)
dr. F : its becoz menpower right? becoz of large population, they have more menpower, they work more, they produce more and they lead the world economy. so can u think the consequence of contraception to our country? its actually to make us weak.. its all ZIONIST PLAN!

those written above are some valuable lessons i got today from my lecturer. i admire her very much. she married an english man but masih kekalkan jati diri muslim dan melayu nya walaupun telah tinggal di europe selama 17 tahun.. subhanallah..

summary of this entry :

boleh nak jarakkan kehamilan tapi jangan hadkan.. kerana apa yg rasulullah sarankan tu mmg the best la. rasulullah kata baginda bangga dengan umat yg ramai, hikmahnya more men power, lg ramai org bekerja n productivty lg hebat, buktinya negara china.
pastu, perempuan bkn islam fight untk contraceptive method sbb taknak mengandung. bg mereka mengandung tu adalah kesan buruk ke atas mereka yg mana kesan tu takde pada lelaki. mereka rasa tuhan tidak adil . jika kita tgk , apa yg islam suru tu mmg cantik. dengan perkahwinan, both lelaki n perempuan kena bertanggunjawab dengan hasil keseronokan mereka. so tiada istilah tidak adil. in islam, the purpose of sex adalah to build the next generation n the excitement is the 'side effect' . but in non muslim culture, for them , the purpose of sex is for enjoyment, excitement and mereka anggap anak adalah 'side effect' (note : side effect = kesan sampingan)

cantik kan islam...